Grateful for singing, comics in the bath, heaters, snow, coffee when it’s cold, alone time, pushing myself, my Christmas tree, plans, love, having enough food, Netflix, being bald, eyelash extensions, talks with my best friend, fall leaves. 

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I love dressing up in costumes. I love being a vampire prince. I love bubble baths. I love writing short poems. I love love. Even if that love is fictional. 

Love to me is truly wanting another person to feel happy, and supporting them in what they gotta do. I won’t hold back the people I love because the only thing I want is to help them be the most happy and content in their lives they can be. 


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  So grateful for my boys. Whenever I’m down Beo is always there to be a comfort and show me I’m not worthless and Lance always lifts me up. I just feel so lucky to have them.   
I went to my first appointment to schedule therapy. It was scary and I don’t really want to but I know it’ll be beneficial and help my life improve so I’m staying hopeful. Learning I have BPD has been eye opening and it made me realize how much I need help but this way it’ll be so much easier to identify what’s going on. No more living in denial just getting better ❤️ 


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Not sure how much more of this I can take. 

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I’ve been playing around and practicing new makeup techniques. It’s so fun to watch the progress of myself and my peers. I love makeup it’s such a magical creative world. I can’t wait to learn more. 

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Move it along. 

I relapsed Sunday because of someone who despite thinking they are sensitive is the most insensitive person in my life. I just wanted understanding but that won’t happen so I’ve decided to not keep people around only for nostalgia purposes. I deserve to not be made feel worthless, I do this enough on my own. Ever since my divorce I’ve been trying so hard to just live and not constantly be suicidal it’s made it clear who doesn’t actually care. I try to be respectful of what others believe but I can’t continue when they don’t respect who I am. After countless panic attacks this week and even fainting from the stress it is time to stop exposing myself to so many of my triggers for now. Time to level up and take care of my mind. Thank you to all who are so supportive of me. It means the world to me.

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