I’m working really hard to make things happen in the near future. I have to believe those things are coming. I deserve something good.
My depression has been so bad lately I can see it affecting me physically and mentally but I can’t escape it. So I’m seeking help and I really hope something will change. I know it won’t magically go away but after 14 years of trying to do it myself I think it’s time I got help. Thank you to those who have been supportive. Wish me luck.

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Grateful: I got the chance to see maleficent opening day with my two favorite people. I got to see my best friend before she moved away. I got to see Xmen.
It’s a miracle I’m alive. We made it. All of that really doesn’t matter.
Wounds do heal. Don’t forget that. Sometimes the pain stays so vividly you forget healing is possible.
You are doing it.
Can you believe how lucky we are?
We live the life we love. We love the life we live.

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Ugly boi.

Ooh I love my ugly boy
So rough and tough
Don’t care bout anyfing but me
Yes I just love him cause he’s so crazy
Just crazy about me

You and me make the whole world jealous
God knows I know my homegirl’s precious
Life is crazy I know God bless us
Chill the fuck out I got this
You Got nothing to worry about trust me
You trust in Ninjie cause he don’t play
Everything’s going to be okay
I can make your problems go away
And I ain’t scared of shit
Whatever the fuck it is I take care of it
If you’re strapped for cash, heading straight for a crash
I can make cash rain on your ass
Anything you want (You got it)
Anything you need (You got it)
Anything at all (You got it)
Just keep it real with me (You got it)

You fuckin’ mental, my crazy little girl
Maybe the most psycho chick in the world
You mystical shit just’s not physical
What you and me got’s unfuckwithable
Respect me receive my protection
I’m always right by your side like a weapon
Love me I grant you there will be love
Fuck with my girl there will be blood
All my bitches love me, aw man it’s tough
One crazy girl’s more than enough
This is not ordinary love
This thing you an’ me got girl (Mm)
I believe it’s magic (Magic)
I believe it’s magic (Magic)
I believe it’s magic (Magic)
Magic (Magic)
Ugly on the skin
But you’re lovely from within
An angel kiss from me to you
Always there for me when I’m feelin’ blue
You say you’ll stick with me and I know you well
I just get so emotional
When I’m down and feeling weak
With tears streaming down my cheeks
You say the sweetest things
Like material stuff don’t mean a thing
But you take care of me to keep you safe
You so freaky babe

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Feel it.




Let it be easy and fun. Isn’t it fun? I am so excited.
What do you want?
Feel it. Let it go. It will come, and if not you probably don’t want it anymore.

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Going to set the world on fire.

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I was very close to ending it earlier this year.
During the winter the thought of holding your hand gave me reason to go another day. When it got really bad you just made me stay one more day and I did. Even though my mind still goes there I know I don’t want to leave you. When we first met I thought maybe you could save me. Well maybe I’m not as stupid as I look because…
You saved me.

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Wouldn’t it be nice if I finalized things for my book this week. Wouldn’t it be nice if this was the best week ever. Wouldn’t it be nice if I got to see my friends. wouldn’t it be nice to make good art. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a clean room.
This is so good.
Isn’t life fun?
There are cute dogs in the world and pretty girls and people are in love and kissing each other’s cheeks somewhere right now. We get to live on a pretty planet that gives us everything we need to survive.
So much fun stuff. We are so lucky to be here.


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